National Grammar Day Jokes

By Mar 3, 2020

It’s National Grammar Day! As you may know, content marketers take grammar very, very seriously—but we’re not your typical sticklers. We speak human, and sometimes that means natural language wins out over the arcane rules you may have learned in the third grade. Above all, we are clear, clever, concise, and consistent. Because that’s how we get our messages through to the real person on the other side of the screen.

So to celebrate one of our favorite holidays related to content and copy editing, we’ve collected a few of the best grammar bar jokes floating around in that furiously bubbling language crucible we call the Internet. We hope they give you a chuckle and maybe even a more solid grasp on geeky grammar.

  • A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
  • An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
  • Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
  • A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
  • Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
  • A question mark walks into a bar?
  • A non-sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
  • Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out—we don’t serve your type.”
  • A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
  • A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
  • Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
  • A synonym strolls into a tavern.
  • At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar—fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
  • An ellipsis walks into a bar …
  • A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
  • Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
  • A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
  • An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
  • A typo wakls into a bar.
  • The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
  • A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
  • The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  • A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
  • An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the other customers, the TV and a stray dog.
  • A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
  • A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
  • The first person walked into a bar. Now I have a giant bruise on my forehead.